Dave: 0:00

This computer. All right, everybody, welcome to another episode of the Unscripted Podcast. And well, if you're here, we apologize for the technical delays. Sometimes you have those things. Great to have uh technology, but sometimes things don't work out in your favor sometimes. But we're here with uh episode 37. So if you are a business owner or maybe you're an aspiring business owner, if you've been thinking about, you know, kind of jumping into this crazy world of entrepreneurship and you want some guidance, well, you're in the right spot because what we do on this podcast is we help you learn from our experiences, things that we've helped our own clients with, things that we're going through in our business, because we're just like you, a business owner. And and so and we also share things that we see in the industry and just points, and you can learn from our mistakes, from our lessons, and hopefully not make them yourself. So grab your favorite cup of Joe and let's jump into the show. All right, everybody. So we're here with another episode. We have our famous, beautiful face, Dwarne. Dwarne's here, but then you also see that we are joined by this week's guest, Dr. Cynthia Coy from Unced Solutions. And Dr. Coy is a beautiful and amazing woman who helps others kind of you know overcome their overflow that they may feel in their life. So, Dr. Coy, welcome to the show.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 1:19

Thank you. Thank you.

Dave: 1:21

You you are welcome. What why don't you give us like you know a quick, you know, three, four-minute sort of background on on who you are and and and what Uncave Solution does and your services, and then we can kind of jump into a little bit more of the show.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 1:37

Sure, absolutely. So again, thanks for the opportunity to be here. I am Dr. Cynthia Coy. I my background started in the military, actually. I was doing that for I never anticipated a 20-year career, although I ended up having one, but I was leading, and about midway through my military career, I started to question what my future was gonna look like. Did I want to do 20 years and retire um from the Air Force, or did I just, you know, want to change and do something different to pivot? So actually about midway through, I decided to pivot. Because one of the things I was seeing was the leadership I was experiencing. I had good, I had bad, somewhere in between. And I didn't really see a lot of emphasis on leadership development in the military. You know, we we get a lot of titles and positions, and that's what makes us leadership by position. But as far as like the skills to be a good leader, there were some people who had them, some people who were people-centered, heart-centered, and then there were some people who were just get the mission done at all costs. What and you know, whether that meant it was costing their people, their sanity, and and and I watched a lot of fellow officers, especially women, struggle with having to make the decision of okay, I just had a baby, or you know, I still have young kids and they're trying to be there and take care of them. And then at the same time, the military is, you know, one of the core values of the Air Force is service for four self, right? So one of one of those things is like put the job first. And so as a result, over time, a lot of the female friends that I had in the military, they made decisions. I think, you know, best for them, which was get out, you know, I have to put my my family first, especially if they're in what we call dualt military uh family, which means both the male, the husband and the wife are are military. And so just watching and listening, how a lot of women were just overwhelmed because there's a lot of roles, you know, there's the expectations, especially if you're as a leader, that you know, you have it all together, but you know, silently you're you're breaking down and you're crying. And so midway through my career, I started really looking at how do I help leaders become better, not just from a physicianal standpoint, but from a a self-leadership perspective. And so I had switched to the Air National Guard at that time, and then I decided to try my hand at consulting. Although consulting as I envisioned it was not how it actually ended up being because it was more gut government contracting, so not pure consulting in the sense that you could really help a client be better but you know, through efficiency of processes or things like that. In some s instances, yes, but for the most part, we just did whatever we were told to do because we were paid to do that. So I founded Uncle Solutions back in 2012 while I was still serving, just to kind of get my feet wet. Did it alongside a few engagements, but back in 2017 when I actually made a decision to to leave because my own sanity was was in question here, it was a it was very stressful. I was doing something that I was not fulfilled in doing. And so I basically became part of my what I like to call my living laboratory and decided to focus on my own self-leadership. And so Unfair Solutions has evolved over time. And now, yes, definitely the focus is helping overwhelmed women leaders move to overflow, like really taking the time to understand what is causing the overflow, and then taking steps to address it and help you move to a a better state of harmony.

Dave: 6:18

Right. And and so how has you know the the shift from military focus, right? Military leadership, how do you make that transition then to you know to like business leadership and and leaders, right? Which isn't necessarily because you don't work just with entrepreneurs, you work with like you know, CEOs, right? This the C level as as well as business owners.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 6:44

Right, right. Yeah, the the shift is very different and because in the military it's very hierarchical. So there it's evolved a bit a bit, but ultimately there's still somebody's telling you what to do. They're policies that are being driven from you know the top down. So while sometimes you may have the opportunity to provide some input about impact on, you know, the organization or the people, for the most part, it's out of your control. On the corporate side, I would say that the structures are different, you know, some still are hierarchical, but for the most part, I have found that a lot of them are flat, flatter organizations. And so they really value everybody's opinion. There might be a CEO, but it's really a team effort as far as decision making. So I think that's that's different. And I think especially if people leaders are more people focused, those organizations that are having higher retention of people, it's because they are valuing their people's input about decisions that they have to make.

Dave: 7:56

Yeah, I think Warren, we mean you have had that conversation too about you know involving your staff in you know their stakeholders, right? You don't want to just be that dictator, right? That that's creating all the rules and passing them down, right?

Duarne: 8:45

Well, at the end of the day, we hire for a skill set, right? We hire for a skill set which is missing within our own business environment or our corporate environment, and we should treat it as such. And each person represents a skill set that we've hired them in for. So if you're not gonna listen to them, then what's the point of hiring them in for the skill set? So we make sure we try and you know incorporate their skills as much as possible. There was something, Cynthia, you said there which caught my attention. I totally agree with the whole chain of command thing. When it comes military, it's all very chain of command. A lot of the things you're getting asked to do don't necessarily it's it's definitely very different to the corporate world. It's very much follow the order. And but you mentioned something there which was really interesting to me, which was there's a lack of leadership, guidance, and training offered within the military was something you witnessed. And that's something is a that's something that most people just wouldn't assume as a case because I had a small stint in the Air Force back in Australia, and my takeaway was one of the most mismanaged organizations that I'd ever been involved in. I was and I'm sure it need it ran like a military cannot run like a business, and a business can't run like a military. And I think that's the misconception a lot of people tend to have if they haven't seen both sides. Is yes, it runs, but it's I just found it really interesting that there's a lack of training offered to those people getting promoted into those roles. You would assume that that would be something to be very important to help them be successful. So, I mean, what what's your feelings around why that there's no more emphasis on that?

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 10:29

Well, I I have been retired for a minute, so I I'm gonna hope and pray that things have shifted. But I would say, you know, during my time, again, it was a lot of technical expertise. You know, you went to what we call technical school or tech school, and then it was just the ability to perform well. Your evaluations every year were like, okay, if you if you met or exceeded the expectations and you had a good record, you're you know, passing your PT test, your physical fitness test, and things like that. Then it was like, okay, at a certain time, if all of the uh God's agree for lack of a better term, then you you were selected for promotion and then you got promoted. Unless you had a mentor, like somebody, a leader who maybe was in your chain, but most likely maybe not, who just took an interest in you. And they were the ones who really guided you in developing those leadership skills, I think, that it just wasn't happening. It's more about mission, I think. I think about my very first assignment in the military, I had my first commander, I thought was great. My second commander, he and I clashed a lot because he was very, very mission focused. And I remember one time we had this conversation where he asked me what's more important than the mission or the people. And I told him the people. Um, and he said, wrong. He said it's a mission. And I said, but if you don't take care of people, they can't do the mission. So like that's my opinion. And but I think it's a prevailing prevailing opinion because even in the corporate side, people don't leave organizations just because they're like, people leave people, right? You know, if they're not valued, if they're not treated well, if they're not heard, then that's what's gonna burn them out and that's what's gonna overwhelm them. And then eventually they have to make a decision. Maybe they don't want to, maybe they enjoy what they did, but ultimately they're not valued, and so they will leave. And I think there's just not that soft skill. I mean, we are in some assignments I've had throughout my career, it is such a fast-paced, you know, world where it's like we're just getting things together, getting things done, and very little uh time sometimes unless you make it a priority, which I did, to actually get to know your people and find out, you know, intrinsically what motivates them and what they value, and making sure that becomes something that you are honoring and respecting, right?

Dave: 13:21

So not working with somebody I think too, like how how that kind of overlaps with business in general is that a lot of businesses don't put that emphasis on even training right leaders and managers as as they promote them. And and I've seen that right in my kind of trajectory when I was in the corporate world, is many businesses don't have that set training program available for first-time managers or first-time leaders. You know, I've I've heard it, you know, just talking to other people, right? If you go out and talk to anybody who lives or or works in an environment where they have a manager, and you know, there's gonna be you know all these bad stories about you know leadership and and then the lack of leadership skills that are that their managers have. And a lot of times it's just the worker bee got promoted because they needed somebody and they didn't show any you know kind of leadership skills, but and then they're just thrown in this position and now it becomes a dictatorship.

unknown: 14:19

Yeah.

Duarne: 14:19

So it's like when you just get a job, you give someone the skills to do the job that you hire them for. It's yet people just in business, it tends to be an assumption that when you get put into a leadership role because you're good at your job that you were doing, which you may have loved, that you're just gonna be greater leadership as well, which is not always the case. So we I think a lot of business leaders forget to train that next level. If you're gonna set them up, you need to upskill to that next level for leadership as well, because it's not a magical skill you suddenly wake up and have. Absolutely. There's a lot more that goes into it, which you know.

Dave: 14:54

It can be developed, like leadership can definitely be developed, it's but it's not like everybody's born, like one person's born to be a leader, somebody's not. Like you can, if if that's like your aspiration, you can learn the skills to be a good leader. I don't think you're born a great leader. I think you have you learn it and and you practice it and and you continue to kind of go down that path. But so Cynthia, I know a couple things that you do. So one, you know, you just had a great event yesterday, right? Um you know, it's called Live to Lead. So tell a little bit about like you know what the event is and and how you feel that that's been able to make an impact on on your clients and kind of the the outcomes that you've seen from people that have come to that type of event.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 15:35

Yeah, absolutely. So, first of all, live to lead. I I get the opportunity to to bring this to my community because number one, I'm a a proud certified Maxwell Leadership team member. Uh Maxwell Leadership was started about, I think, 2011. This is John Maxwell's organization. And so for those who've probably never heard of him, he's he's literally the world's number one leadership expert, right?

unknown: 16:02

Yep.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 16:03

And so there was a vision back then to basically create the legs to John's legacy. So John is right now about 78 years old, young, I should say, because he's he's challenged as I do. And so anyway, back in 2014, Live to Lead was created. And what that does is for there are now nearly 60,000 certified coaches and trainers and speakers in the in the team. But for those of us who choose to invest, we get to get a license to bring Live to Lead to our communities. When we are recording it in Orlando, and it used to be in Georgia, but like this past August, we recorded in Orlando. We had speakers this year. It was, of course, John's always there, and then it was Tiffany Bova, it was Anthony Trucks, and it was Jesse Cole, who's the the creator of Savannah Bananas, right? So he's a cool guy, yeah. Really like I I've I've fallen in love with him, right?

Duarne: 17:13

So everybody does, it seems the yellow tuxedo. I mean, how many does he own, right?

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 17:21

Right, stands it out though. Um I wonder how many he actually does own.

Dave: 17:25

Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 17:26

Yeah, all of them are amazing. And so I heard them, I immediately think about my community. Like who needs to hear this? Who needs to be here? And then I curate a day. So not only do I bring the virtual speakers to the events, but I also think about the local leaders in my area that maybe other people want to listen to, and who have some some good leadership advice for them as well. And so then I basically curate a day. So we, you know, like yesterday, we had a a local restaurant curated the um meals for the day, breakfast and lunch. There was some networking that went on before, during, and after. But during the event, one of the powerful things that happens, and every, by the way, every live to lead host curates it differently, right? Because we have people who are doing this over in Africa, Australia, you know, the Maldives, I mean, throughout Europe, South America, I mean, everywhere around the world. And so you have to know your community, I guess, like the needs of your community and what would resonate. And I think because for me, because I am a coach in nature, right? Like mindset coach, reflection is a big part of the activities that I I do throughout the day. And as we closed it out yesterday afternoon, because it's it was all day, like eight to four, just the takeaways were were amazing. My particular theme that I I came up with for this year, this season was leading from leading with the perspective advantage. And the question I asked up again was what perspective did you have walking into this room? And what perspective are you now having leaving? And it was just a an overall resounding shift that happened for them and how they they look at how they're taking care of themselves. You know, how are they taking care of themselves as leaders and and what things are going to change? Lots and lots of of nuggets and wisdom dropped virtually and from the local leaders that we had.

Dave: 20:15

So what would you say is what would you say was the biggest takeaway? Like what was the biggest that that you heard like that people said was kind of like the biggest takeaway that they they got from the event yesterday?

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 20:27

So many, so many, right? Because of some speakers, but there was there was one that resounded communicating better with their team or their family. There was another one where this gentleman he manages a lot of people, and he he admitted that you know he is very focused on getting something done, and then you know, move on to the next. And he said, you know, he learned he needs to stop and celebrate the wins, still celebrate his people more, right? So there was that. There was a lot of you know, people I would say from the personal side, just learning how to one of Jesse Cole's lessons that he was teaching was to eliminate friction and to create you know enthusiastic fans. You know, he has a book called Fans First. Yeah, and how do you how do you experiment with things? That was another thing that came up. People are like, I'm gonna try new things now, right? So it's it's it was all over. I can't say there was like one single one, but you know, I would say the overall sense was that people were were leading better and and excited, inspired was the word that was used a lot too, just to lead better in their home as well as the the the workplace.

Duarne: 21:50

That's really amazing revelations right there, like they're having. Curious, like what happens next? Like they've had the event for the day. Yeah, what happens next? How how do you help them take that next step to you know get to the realizations that they've had? Is that part of the process that for the day, or is that because I'd just be so curious to see how many of them are get, you know, are gonna be successful in all this new information they're gathered and the mindset shifts that they're gonna have experienced.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 22:22

Yeah. So I would love to say that every single person who comes to an event like that will become a client and you know, or they'll they'll keep embarking and investing in their growth journey. And maybe they will in some way, but definitely with with follow-up, and I got the feedback, which is great, which I can use for follow-up, but I think the the thing is those people who want to continue investing, I definitely offer the opportunity for them to become a coaching client. I have an upcoming event, upcoming retreat next year, so that they'll can get an invitation for that as well. But I think people who are really serious about their growth journey, they seek out opportunities to grow. And I think overall, when you look at a lot of leaders, they they're not consistent. That's really real, they're not consistent in growing. It's like we haven't, it's like we went, it was great, we feel good, but then what do you do tomorrow? And I think that's the the beauty of you know, when you decide to invest, when you inside, when you decide, I'm getting tongue tied, right? When you decide to invest in a coach, that coach is helping you stay on track and stay accountable with you know getting things done, not from a task perspective necessarily, but like really really tackling some of your issues or challenges that you're having as a as a leader, as a person, um in your self-leadership journey.

Dave: 24:02

And so it's you know Well, I think that's that's a big thing, right? Is that is that these events they happen, and when you're there, right, you're you're you're in you're engulfed in any event, and so you feel it. And then the next day you go back to everyday life, and and the question is right, what happened? Well, so here and I guess and and you know, obviously, you know, Cynthia, you and I work closely together, you're a client, but my challenge to you then is to overright the next like two, four, six weeks, continue to check in with those that attended to make sure that they're continuing to kind of you know, kind of implement everything that they learned, you know, like the biggest takeaways and all of that, and you know, and and developing that kind of follow-up sequence. And I think we've talked about in in pre prior conversations, like what's your follow-up, and I think that's the biggest opportunity that you have with the those individuals is that expression their minds. So, like even a personalized follow-up, personalized email today or a phone call to them is gonna be that next thing, like, hey, what's your what's your challenge? So a lot of the things that I did when I did in-person trainings was I gave them like a seven-day challenge, you know, at the end of it. Like, here's what you need to accomplish in the next seven days to keep that momentum going, and then following up with people, you know, has has led to great results and and even you know a client or two for me. And so I would challenge you to do that now is you have you now have like you know 10, 20 warm leads that are are ready, right? They've told you at the end of it that they they have some sort of change or improvement that they want to make, and now it's like okay, like I how do you how are you gonna do that, right? What's your next step? And then showing that exactly.

Duarne: 25:45

And you know, like for me, I'm listening to that, Dave, and I love that, but we know that when you're gonna get a call, it's gonna get tough. For me, I think in the modern day we're all super busy and everyone's back to the grind. A great way to do it is come at it from an angle where you shoot a couple of videos. Now, Cynthia, I've seen a few of your view design on YouTube. You're great in front of the camera, you're not shy to be in front of the camera and have a conversation, which is great.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 26:11

It's a growth process, a growth process.

Speaker 2: 26:16

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Duarne: 26:18

Shoot a little personal video for each one and and just set them a little challenge. And you know, like, hey, so I saw in your response that you sent through that you're looking at doing this. I challenge you to check in with me in a few weeks and let me know what the progress of that is. Just drop me an email, you don't have to send me a video. But if you want to, here's my calendar, take make a booking, and I'd love to hear what sort of progress you've made. And that little personal video that you do, and you know, each one of those is a couple of minutes, an hour later, you've got all your videos created, you're super exhausted, your mind's everywhere because you've been thinking about all of this. But you can then send all those out to the individuals, and that might get some nice reactions because it's very personal. The other thing I was just thinking like at the event, one thing you might want to try is encourage them to find a buddy and have a buddy at the event and talk about how that buddy could help them remain accountable for what goals they're setting for themselves on the day. Yeah. And you know, have that sort of scenario where they can call each other and help each other out and encourage them, like what that could look like, you know, just one call a week where they spend 15 minutes talking about what they've done for the week and how they were, you know, towards reaching their goals. Because at the end of the day, every one thing I was listening here and I was thinking, every one of these people who went, they're setting their own goals. So you as a coach, when you start working with them, you're not helping them reach goals that you want them to reach, you're helping them reach the goals they've set themselves. So you're helping them reach the goals they're trying to achieve for themselves, which is really, really hard to do without a little bit of accountability. So coaches like yourself help make that real. Because we're all that we tend to feel like we give ourselves a little pat on the shoulder, we did well, move on without really thinking about the consequences, right? Right, right.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 28:20

But it's funny that you said that, Duana, because actually during the event, or it was the the virtual event uh talk by Jesse Cole. Of course, I had seen it before, but one thing that I think that was really powerful in the room that yesterday was he took up his camera live at the event in August, and he made a video for one of his team team members of Savannah Bananas. And everybody in the crowd was there, you know, and so you know, everybody was screaming and saying hi or whatever. But he just, you know, loved on him as the leader and just said, you know, I just want to tell you how much I appreciate you, and you know, some other things. But it was very short, just very powerful. And I think that was a that was a good, you know, even the idea you mentioned, it's it's a great idea because not not saying texts are not nice, right? Or emails are not, you know, great, but there's nothing like a personal, you know, video call as a message.

Dave: 29:23

So that's definitely something, yeah, to to and I think some people too, like if they don't want to do like the video and send like a video message, like you can just send an audio, like it just there's just that extra level of personalization than just sending a text or an email or something like that.

Duarne: 29:39

So I don't want to as well. I mean, you can really portray that very clearly. And like one of the scenarios that we see is we get a nice video, what's the first thing you do? You turn to the closest person that you like, and you're like, Watch this. That's true, it's true. You should work with that person, they're nice. You need that. Oh, you reckon? Yeah. So I mean, I think there's huge trade-offs there. And I remember what it means, like probably eight years ago, there was a software vendor back in the day that one of my clients, he actually reached out and bought some software from them. It wasn't a lot, but he got really excited about it because he's like, I just got sent a video from this guy. He's like walking down to the beach with his dog, and he just, hey, Alan, just wanted to say thank you so much for the purchase. Like, you have no idea what this means to me. This is great. Just somebody else in our ecosystem who's you know appreciates what we're doing. We love that. Hey, if you ever want to just chat and tell me about your experience with the software, reach out. I'm happy to have that conversation. I'm just here walking my dogs at the moment. Yeah, so I've got a few minutes. I thought I'd just give you this, send this little video to you.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 30:52

But that means a lot because it's like when when you become top of mind for somebody who you know is busy or has other things to do, it just makes that person feel that much more valued and special.

Duarne: 31:06

Yeah.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 31:06

You know, I I'm led, you know, from top. Even just in my personal relationships and business, some you know, from time to time, because I'll get there, but in the personal side, sometimes you're just thinking about them and you just want to just say hi, I was thinking about you. Hope you're having a great day. On the business side, I I am very focused on not letting my business relationships be become so transactional. Like meaning like I'm just only calling you because I I want something from you, or you know, because that's what we do, right? In business, like, yeah, I got an event coming up, right? But it's like when have I, when's the last time I just checked on one of my business contacts to just say, hey, how have you been? Like, not not what's going on in your world that I can buy from you, or you know, you can sell me, or or vice versa. But I think those genuine business relationships happen when it becomes more than just business that you're talking about, right?

Duarne: 32:13

And it's it's really powerful. Like just last week, one of my clients shared that he was having potential separation with his wife, and it was pretty tough on him. And, you know, as you can imagine, and you know, he just had to delay a few things from the workfront. And just me sending through a message a few days later saying, Hey, how you doing, mate? Just a welfare check. What's going on? How's things happening? You know, you doing okay? If you need a call, jump, you know, just let me know. We'll jump on a call. And I just get a response going, really appreciate that. Thanks. I'm good for now, but I'll reach out if I need something.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 32:50

And that's something they'll always remember. Yeah. Yeah.

Duarne: 32:54

Because we all go through hard times, right? And we remember who was there, not necessarily to help us, but just to listen during those hard times. And even in the good times, just to celebrate and remind them hey, I saw you posted this on LinkedIn. Well done. Great work. That's amazing. Yeah, um, that's all I got to say. I just want to say great work. And it's funny because you mentioned Jesse Cole. I watched a bunch of his videos, and one of his videos, he literally just calls his players, he interview he stops this interview and goes, Hey, look, I've just got to make a quick fall. Calls on, hey, I just want to say goodnight. Hope you had a great day. Ready for the big game tomorrow. I'm I'm sure you're gonna be great. And he said that to two or three different players, and they're all like super pumped and excited to have that conversation with him. So, from a great leadership point of view, yeah, to have him at your events, I think that's incredible. That's a high caliber, very underrated leader right there. So that's incredible.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 33:54

Yeah, yeah.

Dave: 33:55

So, you know, Cynthia, obviously, you know, with all of that in mind, right? You mentioned we all have busy lives, and so like the overflow. And the one thing I wanted to wrap up with is you're coming out with a book, right? Yes, yeah, it's exciting, you know, and so so and and and the focus of that is right the overflow. So give us give us some insights on on the new book. Maybe not don't give all the way, you know, all the all the hidden jam, but just high level kind of what brought you to writing the book and and who's kind of the ideal target and what do you feel like they're gonna get out of it?

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 34:28

Yeah, well first let me start off by saying that the idea of even writing a book came about maybe a decade ago.

Speaker 2: 34:36

Okay, okay.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 34:38

You see it, you see other people do it, and I thought about it myself, and I'll over time that was like, hey, who who would read something I write, you know, write, right? Like it's that impossible. It's not atomic habits by James Clear or something, right? It's it's but it's you know, at the end of the day, part of of my journey of self-leadership and what I teach others to do is it matters. Your words matter and your story matters. Your story is unlike anybody else's story. The words that you have to say are like unlike anybody else's words. And so I I took that plunge earlier this year and I just started writing. And it was very therapeutic for me, actually, uh, just to get it all out there. But I think it was also very in it was like a transform transformative experience, even for myself, to do that and learning a lot with the process, right? Of going through writing and editing and and you know, soon to be fully published. But the book is called Overflow, the New Way to Lead, Live, and Last. Because I talked about overwhelm, and that's usually the starting point, right? People are overwhelmed with trying to be all things to all people all the time. And in that process, the book talks about how we become fragmented, right? We are no longer whole because we are just think of yourself, just split apart.

Dave: 36:12

I feel that way sometimes.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 36:15

And and to be able to work through, and there's reflection prompts at the end of each chapter, but to really think about how to make myself whole again and how to lead myself better so I can live better and ultimately create a legacy that the people around me, the people I'm leaving behind and for generations to come, is something they can model to be an overflow. John Maxwell always talks about how you cannot basically pour from an empty cup. So you have to always be filling yourself up. And I know we give, give, give, you know, give our last dime, get the shirt on the back, you know, whatever. But you know, there's also some wisdom that you have to have, some boundaries you have to create. And that's all in the book. I'm not gonna give too much more, but yeah, it's it's just really just a different mindset. It's like, how do I stop this overwhelm? It's not saying that overwhelm will never come come up again, but you will have a better mental space and mindset to manage that and then learn tools and and strategies to mitigate it from rising up so often. So about it's about response, you know, how you respond to it every time, too.

Dave: 37:37

And and who would you say is like the target target audience for the book?

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 37:41

Yeah, so definitely targeted toward uh my my busy C-suite female leaders, right? But I'll tell you, anybody could could read this.

Dave: 37:49

Business owner, right? Yeah, even business owners, right? Yeah, for sure.

Duarne: 37:52

I get something from it. Like as I listen to explain that, I am thinking I need to get at least three copies for three different people that I love, and I want to get this for because I can see them getting so much value from a book like that.

Dave: 38:10

So I definitely with that in mind, when's the release date, Dr. Ford?

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 38:15

No exact date just yet, but it will be in March of 2026.

Dave: 38:20

Okay.

Duarne: 38:21

Yeah. Make sure you reach out to me, Cynthia, and let me know. Because I, like I said, I got three, maybe more before that, by that time, where I'll be getting them a copy as a gift. Because I think that would be really that'd be really powerful for them. For sure. So you're self-publishing this or are you using a Amazon or how are you using what tool are you using to get this out?

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 38:44

So I'm self-publishing, but I'm using a publishing company that helps people self-publish. So I'm not doing it completely on my own. I I do have some colleagues who've done the completely do it themselves, but this is just my particular for me is one the the time and energy for me is like not. I'm not so I I definitely learned how to, you know, let people who are who shine in those areas do what they need to do versus me trying to learn everything. I I like learning the new things, but you know There's a women.

unknown: 40:05

Yeah.

Dave: 40:06

Well, I think that's one of the things, right? That I think that's one of the things that is is admirable about you, right? Is is you kind of embellish that focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses, and allow other people to help you on the weakness side, you know, so that you don't have to, like you just said, you don't have to figure it out, right? You know, you let them run it and then you just do what you're strong with, right? The mindset, the overwhelm, right, the leadership coaching piece. So that's good.

Duarne: 40:37

I got a question for you, Cynthia. Sure. What what would what would be your biggest advice to anyone thinking about writing a book? What would you be your biggest advice for them?

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 40:50

Get over the fear and just do it. Just start writing. I think that the biggest thing is all the stories we have read read from other people. There's somebody out there who needs to read your story too. And when you are too afraid to put pen to paper or fingers to keys, uh it's you are you're basically taking that away from somebody who really needs to hear your message. And so let go of that fear and just just jump right into it. It's the mindset. Yeah, just change that mindset right there. Yeah.

Dave: 41:30

Well, I think too, like even if even if you possibly start with the mentality that it may never go out, but just getting it down, right? Just getting it out on paper, and then you can kind of take that next step of then turning it into like a polished, like book story type thing, I think is a good way to start as well.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 41:48

I'll say this one where I'll say the last thing, but uh I mentioned earlier that the the writing journey was very transformative for me, and that's something I think that people don't realize or they don't think about when they're gonna embark on writing a book. It's just as much for you as it is for them. And so you have to remember that like just getting it all out there. Yeah, it's for you too.

Duarne: 42:14

Yeah, it's it's it's a it's actually quite interesting. You say that one of my good friends that I caught up for breakfast this morning with actually, he's a Canadian here in the Philippines where I am. He was at one of the events that you're a part you offer as well, but in Canada, he was a speaker at one a few months ago, and he was sharing with me in a previous about a year ago, he'd written a book, and it was a book around his weight loss journey, and he's just never released it. He's um and he's just he's holding back on the release, and yeah, I'm gonna I think it's I think it comes down to fear is probably one reason, but I think also like he's explained his story to me, and I loved it, and I thought people just want to know this, they want to read this because so many people can relate to our stories when we don't even know. It's the old adage where you're explaining your stories around a campfire and people are relating and enjoying, and then retell those stories, and everybody enjoys it. And you're right, it's not just these big names that have got great stories, people have just got to take one thing away from your book that's a positive for them, and they're going to appreciate it.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 43:31

So and I would say this too, and and this I I apply whenever I'm doing an event or or anything, and I learned this from John Maxwell too. You you do for one as you would for many, right? You you don't think about I think a lot of times our fears are based on a quantity, right? Like, well, what if X number of people don't show up? So what the impact that you have on a single person ripples is if it impacts them that much, they're gonna tell somebody, they're gonna share it with somebody, right? And then that person is being influenced and impacted by that. And and next thing you know, that one person who was impacted at that event or in a conversation even, it it spreads. And so never never underestimate the quality that you provide because the quantity may or may not be there. If you can have a room full of people or a community full of people who are not impacted at all, they're just there. But it's it's it's really and that's always my focus is the impact. I love intimate groups a lot because those people are really there for that transformation or or or whatever. So I think that's that's the thing too, when you're thinking about the book, your friends you know, getting over that fear of I don't know if it is about, well, nobody's gonna read my book. He has to read his book, right? He wrote it, he he read his book. And and to your point, you know, he's shared his journey with you, that resonated. And so you know there's there's uh other people who need to hear that book or that story, but he's holding it and he has to be able to let it go. And so again, that's that's just a mindset that we have to get through and get over, change, shift, because we need we can you could be holding your the key to the greatest thing that other people need, but you don't realize it because you don't realize the value it has yourself.

Duarne: 45:46

But yeah, yeah, Dave and I talk about that a lot actually, that when we get into meetings and we talk to business owners, we tend to find ourselves just making assumptions that we know something so everyone else knows it. And it is the furthest thing from the truth. There is so many simple things that we get on calls that people just don't understand or know because they've never had to know it. We know it because it's every day for us, but that's like expecting a mechanic to know what a doctor knows and a noctur to know what a mechanic knows. It's just not the way the world works, and we couldn't have all that information in our heads and function as well as we do. So I I love that. Share your knowledge with people, get over the fear, and what you've got to say is likely a lot more important and more valuable than you could possibly imagine.

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 46:36

Yes, yeah, for sure.

Dave: 46:38

Well, Cynthia, thank you for sharing that. We always like to end the show with maybe one or two takeaways that you would hope that somebody learned and can you know begin to implement into their business, into their life. So for you, Cynthia will start with you. What's one or two things that you just hope somebody takes away from this conversation and begins to implement into their life?

Dr. Cynthia Coy: 47:00

Yeah, okay, invest in your own self-leader. I think that's the biggest takeaway. Before you can lead well, you you have to lead others well, you have to be able to lead yourself well. And that itself is a daily, daily journey. And so I I hope people take a moment to kind of sit back and say, okay, how well do I lead myself? That's number one. Number two, in the midst of you trying to lead yourself well, you are most likely in a situation where you are leading other people. So sit back and ask yourself, how do I lead better? What am I holding on to that I need to let go to help develop other people better? There is so much power and value in developing other leaders around you to let them make mistakes, to let them grow from from what you know they're learning and failing at. Failure is one of the most powerful teaching lessons, I believe you can ever do. So fail often. Yeah, I think that's that's the biggest thing is you know, focus on your personal journey and then also make sure that you are focusing on others that you are entrusted to lead. I mean, I think that's the other just a mindset. You are not the boss or the leader just by position. This is a something you have been given a gift to to lead other people. And what you do with that gift matters. So how well you use your gift. Yeah.

Dave: 48:47

Well, Jorge, how about you? What's your takeaway?

Duarne: 48:51

You also my takeaway is if you are going to go to an event like the one that uh Cynthia was sharing with us earlier, don't be so smitten with the event and then forget everything at the end of the event. Take the you've taken the first step towards going to the event to get that fire started. Make sure you take that next step. Make sure you're prepared to take that next step. Because yes, you're still going in the right direction, but you need to keep pushing forward. Like you were just saying there, Cynthia, it's one of those things where you need to work on yourself. And one of the best ways to work on yourself is while the fire is you know just roaring after those events, is just take advantage and just keep pushing forward and getting going and building up that you know goal set and then going out and then achieving it. And it's not gonna be easy to do by yourself. So find yourself a partner in your business, a coach, a consultant, a friend who's you know in business and doing really well as a and have them as a mentor, whatever it works out to be for you, but find somebody that's gonna help you hit those goals and reach them because otherwise you're just throwing away great opportunities. Definitely going by Cynthia's book because it sounds like it's gonna be amazing.

Dave: 50:13

Exactly. I I would say, you know, for for me, the biggest takeaway, I think you know, we talked about it a little bit, Cynthia, and and your challenge, I would say, for the next four to six weeks is gonna be you know the importance of follow-up. So if if you yourself in your business are doing some sort of the dissimilar events, you know, where you have these warm leads right at your fingertips, and you're not doing any follow-up, and you're not doing any sort of you know, targeted outreach to continue and to ensure that they are implementing the pieces of information that you're giving them in these events, you are missing out a lot. And the one thing I would I would say, you know, love them or hate them, you know, you have like the Tony, the Tony Robbins and all these different sort of, you know, even free events that they do. But if you if you ever signed up for one, even if you didn't attend it, you still get all the emails and the text messages that are after the fact that are maybe not necessarily what you could do as a small business owner, towards a as you said, Cynthia, a small targeted right, you know, group. They're they're more amassed, right? Also, a lot of the stuff is more high level. But you as a business owner can just do even more targeted, you know, personalized messaging that can further you know influence the success of the people that attended your events. And so that's my biggest takeaway, I think, that I will from our conversation, as well as everything I agree with that you guys pointed out, but and and how important leadership is, not only just as a business owner, but even if you're a C-suite or even you know your first time being a manager, how important it is to learn how to lead rather than just be the worker bee. And so uh that's important as well. So, with that, you know, if if you've watched it this far, one, thank you for watching the replay because the technical difficulties we had this morning. But Cynthia, thank you for for joining us. Thank you for being here and sharing your message. I I think it will be a benefit to have you back in the future too, um, especially around the book launch to talk a little bit more about you know in depth about the the aspects of the book. I think it'll be important. And and thanks for being here. You know, we love you all. If you can help share this video with your network, as Cynthia said, right? You don't know who needs to hear something that we mentioned today that's a business owner or a leader that can take something from this, implement in their lives, and have that ripple effect. I agree with that too. I actually it's funny you said that, Cynthia, because I say that, you know, when I'm talking to people about their finances in their business, is that you know, when you, a business owner, can improve your finances, it's not just you that it has a ripple effect on, it's your employees, it's your family, and it's it's the community around you because you're you're making a bigger impact in in the people around you. So I love that kind of analogy. So we love you. Thank you for being here and for watching this far. And again, do all that fun algorithmy stuff, you know, like, subscribe, do all that stuff for us. And until then, we'll see you in the next one. And Cynthia Warren, thanks for thanks for joining me.

Duarne: 53:08

Thank you. Thanks, thanks, thanks, Cynthia.

Dave: 53:10

All right, everyone. We'll see you later. Bye bye.